This is a personal testimony of Ann Donkers, a Dutch immigrant to Canada in about 1953, who committed her life to doing God's will in it. Ann passed away a few years ago, but gave this testimony on October 4, 1973. I found this among Fr. Sam's papers today, and wanted to share it because a number of the prophecies that I plan to reproduce came through this woman. I have tried to reproduce it faithfully, including her use of punctuation, rather than correct it and risk losing any of the content and context.
COME, GO and REST . . . . These three words have been spinning through my head for the last couple of weeks. A few Sundays ago, we went to the Day of Renewal in Detroit. The guest speaker was Father George Kosicki, and as he was telling us about Jesus, how He was over and over again calling us to "Come to Me". He told us a little story about a young girl whose belief was very strong, because of this her name was Faith. She traveled with her two companions the way to Heaven, whose names were Suffering and Sorrow. In carrying her burden so well she became like a beautiful flower, and her name changed to Grace and Glory, and Suffering and Sorrow became for her Peace and Joy. When I sat there listening to this beautiful talk, I pictured myself driving on the road. Adrian (her husband) always says. "You are not so bad on the highway, but come to the busy section of the city, sometimes you don't know whether to take a left or a right turn, and then come to a red light it is hard to wait patiently till it changes to green." I even went through it twice and could have ended up in the hands of the police or even been killed.
Then I thought how good am I in traveling the road to Heaven. I sure heard the first words of Jesus, "Come to Me". The road was smooth and easy. Then I asked, how far did I go? Jesus wants us to go and bring the Good News to others also, share our peace and joy with them and come to the last part - Rest. Then I felt guilty and said, "Jesus, I am very sorry". Jesus is calling us to talk to Him, to listen to Him and to share with Him and I know I had failed there for a long time. It was before the summer holidays that I had given every morning one hour in private prayer. It was the most beautiful part of my day. Jesus speaks to me in so many ways. Sometimes I just sit there silently waiting for what He has to tell me. Believe me the time flies. "Try it, you'll like it."
So ask yourself how good you are in your traveling with Jesus. When he asks us to suffer, do we accept it with patience, and wait on Him till this suffering turns to Joy or do we take a left turn and find an easy way out, or even go through a red light and give in to temptation and sin, and follow Satan to go deeper and deeper into the valley of darkness? The gate to Heaven is very narrow, isn't it? Especially in this day and age. The world has so much to offer, and the road of evil is so much wider and so much easier, but do all these pleasures that the world has, give you satisfaction? To me, they didn't. Let me tell you my friends how well I have known these two companions - Suffering and Sorrow and without Jesus it would have been impossible for me to be humble and travel the road to Salvation.
About 20 years ago, I left my country to marry the man with whom I was deeply in love. It was not an easy step to take, leaving behind my father, mother, brother and sisters and many more who were very dear to me.
Soon after we were married, we rented a farm house which belonged to Adrian's dad "way out" in the country. For me coming from a town surrounded by friends and neighbours was a big change. I didn't understand one word of English, and with Adrian going to work every morning, I became very lonely. I was used to going to church every morning because it was only a few blocks away. The distance, the land, the customs, everything was so different here and I kept saying over and over again, " O God, why did you place me in this country? I'll never get used to it."
The first 15 years of marriage I was in the hospital 23 times. I remember once the doctors couldn't find what was wrong with me, and one asked, "Do you like it here?" I sure couldn't answer that, but I didn't have to either. I cried for about an hour. After 3 years Adrian decided to let me go on a trip, in the hope that things would change. From St. Thomas, Ontario, I took a train to New York. I often wonder now how I ever made it. Wilma, my oldest daughter was nearly two, and Mary six months. I had a suitcase, a bassinet with Mary and was expecting at the time, so not feeling too hot either. Arriving in New York at the train station, I had to put the bassinet and the suitcase down to get my passport checked. As I was standing there somebody came up to me and scared me to death. She said, "My dear lady, you better watch that cute baby of yours. Did you ever hear about kidnapping at this station?" So here I was - the one hand, the suitcase - the other hand, the bassinet and then still a two year old to look after. I don't think Christianity was known in New York at that time, at least nobody lent me a hand.
Was I ever glad to get from the train station by bus to the boat at last. Now I could relax - but not very long - after two days on the boat, I had a miscarriage. When after 8 days I arrived in Holland I didn't have to give any explanation how I felt about Canada. It was written all over my face. Two weeks later I was admitted to the hospital again (in Holland), this time I had to have my appendix out. My plan was to stay about 6 weeks, but with all my troubles, I felt very weak and my mother talked me in to staying for three months to get my strength back. Poor Adrian. Everybody out here was spreading the talk about Adrian and Ann having a divorce, but we didn't worry about that because we loved each other very much.
After I came back here, it sure wasn't much better, I even think it became worse. In 1963 I went again, my mother was dying of cancer, this time I stayed for a month. In the winter of 1970, Adrian said to me, "We are going to spend Christmas Holidays in Holland." We had hired a cousin of mine to stay with the children and look after the farm. We had an enjoyable holiday and I sure didn't want to come back here. That winter I couldn't do anything, all I did was stare out the window and then I said, " O God, why me?"
Don't think that now that we never had our happy days, of course we did, but the country I just couldn't get used to it. It got so bad that at the end of January, Adrian decided to sell everything and go back to Holland. Then he called in a priest. He talked for a long time, without success. I said, "not even ten priests can change my mind." We had never mentioned one word about this to the children. It must have been about two days later on a Friday night that we had a visit from another priest. He talked for a long time even played a tape, not one word was said about me not liking this country but that night I sure felt peace full.
About two weeks later we started the Charismatic Renewal. Since then my life has completely changed. "Lord, where have you been all these years?" Then I heard His voice, "Share your sufferings with me, my yoke is light and my burden is easy." Of course, it was me. I was so blind, now I enjoy life. I enjoy people, especially God's people. Now I even enjoy living in this country because I know that God wants me here. After I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, I became like a new person. God's Spirit is sure working in me now, and I am very grateful for everything He has given me. I saw before me all day long the death of Jesus on the cross and this helped me to overcome many of my weaknesses.
But God is not finished with me yet. I know that I fail Him many times, but I also know that He loves me very much, that same God that has been so busy changing my life is willing to change yours. Give Him a chance. Whatever your problem, share it with Him. He is our Father and loves us all. PRAISE THE LORD !!
Praise to you Lord, for your death on the cross for me,
I love you Lord for believing in what I cannot see.
And seal my lips on my aches and pains.
Show me the way you want me to live,
O Lord, I am willing my life completely to give.
Please Lord, send me your spirit from above,
To fill me with wisdom, knowledge and love,
Let me bring light to a lonely heart.
Teach me, dear Lord, to do my part.
Cleanse and wash my mortal soul,
Until I have reached the eternal goal.
Thank you Lord for finding me here,
I hope in the end I have nothing to fear.
We are all sinners, Lord, but please let me bloom,
To make me worthy of your heavenly room.
Prune me, change me, let me shine,
So I be yours, and you be mine.
Turn all my doubts, Lord into Faith,
And make my road to heaven straight.
Your Peace and Joy, you freely share,
Taught me how much you really care.
I am waiting patiently for your plan,
Make it clear Lord, let me understand.
The voice I hear, the sign I see,
Gives me this message, "Come and Follow Me."